i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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