come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
