so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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