I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
His nipple licking is glorious
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