Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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