I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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