i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
