he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
