so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Randomize
