Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
