Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
