im gay
i know
yea but for you.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
