If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
