There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
