I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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