If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
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