Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
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