Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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