im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
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