He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
