yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Swine flu. Run for my life!
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
