Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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