Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
