Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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