also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
