Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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