elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
