These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
