My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
