Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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