I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
