as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Randomize
