Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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