how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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