i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
