you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
