We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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