"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
