I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
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