About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
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