The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
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