We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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