Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
you traded sex for a burrito?
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
