awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
