I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
