Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
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