Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
