Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
That was an excessively violent trivia night
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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