sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
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