I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
