The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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